I see our path but its so foggy and not clear... I have not spoken to you in a really long time and I can no longer see your facebook page its like I ma been erased right out of your world.. I miss you. your brothers have recently stopped asking about you. I want to hold on to the memory they had of you but they are so little and it was so long ago and such a short time I even tried to point out we still had your pictures and they have stopped going to them to look blake the other day said lets take the girl down it makes mama sad.. I didn't know this could effect them but it has. I hope that I will see something some kind of sign on direction or maybe just to see it for what it is I love you girly!!
Thursday, July 4, 2013
it's been one year and we haven't seen each other i remember i felt like i had waited my whole life to meet you to see you again and then the day came i was early pregnant with your brother johnn, we had just moved close by to your nana i thought how fun it would be you were moving back to calie i was moving closer to nana and we would all get to see each other 4 generations cooking in the kitchen - just like how i planned it to be. the only slight difference is that my aunt your mom raised you. she may have had you all your childhood but i would have you the rest of your life! ahh, that didn't work out the way i had hoped or planned... i love you hailey girl i wish i could be here for you. i wish we could talk hang out this summer. its really sad- am i angry yup at myself and at the situation. i wish things would of not happen the way they did i wish i wouldn't of been failed so i didn't fail you i wish that you could rise above it and seek me out get to know me and your brothers.. i waited my whole life to have a daughter the day came a year went and i am still waiting.
Posted by mama2eight at 12:10 PM
Sunday, April 14, 2013
spring is here, new is now things are refreshed and born. its a pretty time of year. sun shine is all around warming up the chilly air. i haven't spoke to you in a while but that doesn't change my eagerness tow ant to walk talk laugh and just breath you in. your brother was born this early spring you haven't seen him yet. i wish you didnt have such a great poker face lol you get that from me. i am hear hailey un like the seasons that will never change
Posted by mama2eight at 10:50 PM
Friday, December 7, 2012
i carried you first in my dreams, then in my belly, and now in my heart :) where you once were, now is your brother johnn.. i hope that you will be very close with all your siblings one day. as you grow and go through life it will be they your brothers and sister that will support and love you along the way <3
Posted by mama2eight at 1:59 PM
i thought i knew what i would say. i thought i knew what i would do.. but things are just as confusing now then ever! all i can be is in this moment now, and hope for the future you and i will be able to walk and talk with out everyone there. maybe you have more questions? maybe you are fine and that's all you need right now.. i am here when ever you need me.
Posted by mama2eight at 1:49 PM